Blueberry Muffins for a Broken Heart

A baking meditation to process grief.

If I could, I would reach through this screen and give you a big hug and some super glue to put all your broken pieces back together. I would patch up that hole where your loved one used to live. I would pour a truckload of glitter into the cavern of loneliness or grief or hopelessness inside you. If spackle and elbow grease could mend a broken heart, I’d show up ready to work.

Instead, I bring you muffins. Blueberry ones, with oats and maple syrup and a sprinkling of extra sugar on top.

They won’t fix much, except perhaps a hunger pain. But when I say they’re baked with love, I mean it. And maybe you can taste that too, the whispered blessings sprinkled in with the cinnamon.

A Meditation for Making Muffins

When I stand in the kitchen with my mixing bowl and measuring cups, I light a candle. Your name is on my lips, the weight of all you’re carrying in the center of my chest.

I put all my confusion and rage into the bowl. Why, God? When will the suffering ease? How can this injustice persist? Butter, eggs, yogurt, maple syrup, sugar, vanilla.

I mix in my prayers for you. May you be held in Love. May your eyes behold the sacred in new ways. May you have peace, though it makes no sense. May there be justice, like rushing rivers. Baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon.

The blueberries are folded in. They leave the faintest trail of purple behind them. A shooting star across the sky of batter.

A scoop for each muffin cup. A sprinkling of sugar.

They go in the oven. I practice surrender. I scrounge up a mustard seed of faith that something good can come from all this pain.

The kitchen begins to smell like something is happening. The grief and the hope are mingling, making something new.

The timer goes off just as the dishes are done, left to cry on the drying mat.

And then there are muffins. Craggly, golden, warm and sweet muffins. Not a miracle, but then again, not not a miracle either. They are, after all, a new creation. Something nourishing and joyful out of a mess of ingredients. It’s a heck of a lot more than nothing.

I take the delicate wrapper off. The muffin is almost too hot to hold, but I cannot wait. I break it in half and smear some butter over the top, watch it disappear into the nooks and crannies. I give thanks. I eat.

And it helps, somehow. The surrender. The crumbly sweetness. The pop of a warm blueberry almost burning my tongue.

I blow out the candle and give thanks. The work of the rest of the day is calling. The laundry, the emails, the helping with homework and wrangling everyone to the bath. I’ll put a few muffins in a container to give away, a reminder of all we carry and all we have to give. It feels like it’s not enough. It’s all I have.

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I’m not often blessed with a quiet house and 40 free minutes to do a full baking meditation like the one you see above. But I find the simple act of lighting a candle and having it close by while I bake is enough to direct my thoughts, even when my surroundings are chaotic and interruptions abound. You can do this with any project, but it works best when you measure out all your ingredients before you begin. Then, your spirit can pray while your body does the mixing.

Not in the mood for muffins? Try this meditation with Sour Cream Banana Bread or Crazy Cake.

For a video of the recipe and meditation, go here.

For a full breakdown of the recipe, including substitution options and step by step photos, visit this Blueberry Oat Muffins post.

Blueberry Oat Muffins

Serves: 18

Prep: 15 minutes

Bake: 20 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup unsalted butter

• 1 1/2 cups whole milk plain Greek yogurt, or sour cream

• 1/2 cup milk, dairy or non-dairy

• 1/2 cup maple syrup, or honey

• 1/2 cup brown sugar

• 2 large eggs

• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

• 2 cups quick oats

• 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

• 1 teaspoon baking soda

• 1 teaspoon salt

• 1 teaspoon cinnamon

• 2 cups all purpose flour, or white whole wheat flour

• 2 1/2 cups blueberries, fresh or frozen & unthawed

• 1/4 cup Turbinado or coarse cane sugar, for topping

Instructions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Line 2 muffin pans with 18 paper liners.

2. In a large microwave safe bowl, melt the butter. Whisk in the Greek yogurt, milk, maple syrup, and brown sugar.

3. Add the eggs, one at a time, whisking well. Whisk in the vanilla extract.

4. Add the quick oats followed by the baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Stir well to combine.

5. Add the flour, then dump in the blueberries. Toss the blueberries with the flour then fold them gently into the remaining batter.

6. Scoop the batter into the prepared pans, filling each cup to the top and mounded a bit. Add an additional liner or two if needed. Sprinkle each muffin with turbinado sugar.

7. Bake for 19-21 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out without any wet batter. Allow to cool in the pans for 5-10 minutes before removing. Enjoy warm or place on a cooling rack to cool completely. Store muffins in an airtight container at room temperature for 3 days or in the freezer for up to 3 months.

Be nourished and encouraged, beloveds.