This is Your Sign to Have a Do Nothing Day
Our favorite holiday tradition
A few years ago, in a desperate attempt to catch our breath after an especially busy holiday season, our family instituted our very first Do Nothing Day.
The idea was simple: this was a day for every person in the family to do absolutely nothing of significance.
There would be no scheduled events, no practices, no wrapping up a project or returning gifts or doing dishes. No begging a kid to do their homework or put their laundry away. Everyone would be left to their own devices (and I mean this in both senses of the word) to lounge, rest, and veg however they saw fit. It’s like a family sick day, but without the sickness!
For this day only, there were no limits on screen time, besides a hard stop at 6 PM. My boys (then 5 and 8) spent a lot of time watching TV or on an iPad. Much to my surprise, they did eventually stop to eat, wrestle, or otherwise distract themselves, but screen time was their Do Nothing activity of choice, and we let them have at it. Contrary to what my mom-guilt brain predicted, their brains did not, in fact, fall out through their ears.
Meanwhile, Will made himself a gourmet breakfast, played video games, and tinkered with his tools.
I sat in a recliner and read (a lot!), did some gentle Pilates, and took a nap.
At the end of the day, we came back together for dinner and a drive through light show.
It was simple, and it was also the thing our boys talked about the most from their Christmas break. Not the special meals or the parties or the presents, but the Do Nothing Day. And to be honest, it was a highlight for the adults, too. Turns out we all needed a mandatory time out from Responsibilities.
Now, the Do Nothing Day is a beloved annual tradition that we all look forward to, and I want to share it with you! I’ve got lots of tips for making the day happen without adding a bunch to anyone’s (ahem, mom’s) mental load.
But first, some quick guidelines:
Here’s What a Do Nothing Day is NOT for:
Running errands
Completing (or, God forbid, starting) a project. Do not even think about cleaning out your closet on this day.
Scheduling things or making phone calls
Doing chores
Fixing or managing anyone else’s experience. You’re not the cruise director of this day.
Here’s What a Do Nothing Day IS for:
Drinking your beverage of choice while it’s still hot, preferably while gazing aimlessly out the window
Wrapping yourself in a blanket and reading a book
Watching a movie that’s been on your list forever
Taking naps (yes, plural, if that’s what your body is calling for!)
Eating (but not cooking) good food
Doing a puzzle
Listening to music
Playing games
Tinkering and putzing- Shuffling around in your slippers, flitting about the house, going on a meandering walk, following your whims.
Here’s How to Have an Amazing Do Nothing Day
Put it on the calendar. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART. Pick a day when nothing else is scheduled, and protect it at all costs.
Pre-plan meals. My kids are at the age where they can be semi-independent for meals, but not completely. The day before our Do Nothing Day, we stock the fridge with easy convenience foods they can make themselves. Think: easy mac, toaster grilled cheese, Ramen bowls, etc. This is a great time to buy pre-cut fruit and veggies, or prep a few things the day before. Will and I set out some grazing meats, cheeses, crackers, and veggies, and let the kids feed themselves however and whenever they want. For the grown ups, you might want to consider scheduling a DoorDash order or buying your own favorite pre-packaged foods.
Set your boundaries. While the point is to allow maximum freedom for everyone to do as they please, I do think it’s helpful to have a clearly defined start and end time and to communicate expectations and anything that is off limits. Make sure your kids understand that this is a do-nothing day for everyone, not just them. Our kids are still expected to clean up their trash and meals, so that the do-nothing-day doesn’t turn into a do-everything-night for mom and dad.
Have a closing ritual. The truth is, it’s sad when a Do Nothing Day over. To combat some of that disappointment, we like to have a final low-key family activity that transitions us from the day to whatever is next. For us, hot cocoa and a Christmas light drive have worked well. You could also go out to dinner, watch a movie together, or go for a family walk.
For the grown ups: Pick a cozy spot to enjoy your time and try to let go. For many of you, this will likely be the hardest part. It’s difficult for us to be in our homes with our never-ending to do lists and allow ourselves to rest. But I encourage you to really try! Find a spot in the house that doesn’t ring your internal alarm bells (ie: not near the laundry pile or that cluttered closet) and claim it. Let your body just be a resting meat sack all day, and be reminded that your worth isn’t dependent on your productivity.
Some Extra Considerations for Different Family Set-Ups
I am mindful that I am in a sweet spot where my children can function mostly independently for a day. For many reasons, this might not be possible for everyone.
If you have younger kids or kids with more intense needs, you might want to consider getting a babysitter just for this time. It does not have to be a full day! You can have a do-nothing 2 hours or a Do-Nothing-Date with your husband. You could even swap babysitting duties with another couple so each of you can enjoy some do-nothing time.
This does not have to happen over the holiday break. Maybe it would be more rewarding and restful to schedule it in a less busy time of year, or to have an adults-only Do Nothing Day when the kids are back in school. We have also had do nothing days right at the start of summer break, as a kind of celebration for getting through the school year. Do what works for you!
I hope as you head into this holiday season, you feel permission to make space for rest, however that might look for you and your family. As part of my own rhythm of rest, I will be taking next week off from your regularly scheduled email. If you enjoyed this idea or any of my recipes or stories from this year, I’d love for you to share them!
And if you have your own Do-Nothing Day, please tell us about it in the comments! We’d love to hear how it went!